If you have been reading my blog or follow my social media accounts, you know that I lost 65 pounds prior to becoming a weight loss expert.

My life is immersed in the latest science and research on weight loss, but the greatest inputs and insights I get often come from my own experience and those of the private weight loss clients I coach one-to-one. Recently, I realized that one of the worst habits that anyone can fall prey to as they attempt to change their health is the habit of negotiating with themselves.

Perhaps you set a goal, like cutting out sugar or alcohol or promising yourself you’ll work out a certain number of times this week. But then, as the week unfolds, stresses creep in, time gets short, others come before you, and suddenly, those prior commitments are open for negotiation.

Stop Negotiating with Yourself

Negotiating with yourself is a bad habit that gets worse each time you give in to it. Those who make long-standing changes to their health and wellness prioritize themselves, ask for help, and learn to stop negotiating. Why?

Because negotiating with yourself never ends up with you winning. It ends up with you giving away your goals and losing integrity with yourself. Once you begin to let yourself down in one place, it erodes our sense of confidence and trust. We can’t imagine doing this to our partners, children, family, or friends, but we repeatedly do it with ourselves. The damage is deep, but understanding that this is easily remedied can help turn it around.

Here are simple tips and exercises that will help you stand firm when negotiation begins!

· Set small, manageable goals. They are the best to begin with. Thinking about getting back to the gym or scheduling in a workout this week? Promise yourself you will make it there just once; keeping expectations low so you can meet them. You’ll rebuild faith in yourself as you do what you say you are going to do.

· Use a planner or calendar to schedule the event. Clear it with anyone who might need to know and refuse to budge the event in your calendar.

· Connect with the good feelings that flow when you achieve the goal. Newer habit science is proving that we stick with new habits when we connect to the emotional good feelings that come from achieving the goal.

Take the Target 100 No-Negotiation challenge

Identify a habit or behavior you know is standing in your way (sugar, alcohol, lack of exercise, not enough water)

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Create a short, manageable, slightly challenging period of time in which you promise yourself that you will not engage in the habit no matter what. (It could be 7, 10, or even 30 days.)

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Use a tool to track your progress (a calendar, app or notebook)

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Award and reward yourself for each day you succeed. Track your feelings and emotions at having stuck to your guns. What are the payoffs and benefits?

Share the behavior you plan to work on in our private Target 100 Facebook group and cheer on other members of the community to help them hit their goals.

It’s Time to Stop Negotiating with Yourself

Stop Negotiating with Yourself